Take Control!



I know when my natural being wants to give expression. I know how it wants to vent and really say it as it 'feels'. I know that this can lead to self-inflicted pain after the scene.  I know that there is nothing in it to  inspire someone else so I try to resist  it. Taking control isn't an easy task. Taking  control requires all your senses to be alert and a deliberate mindfulness to do the right thing.

Take control. 

Take control by constantly improving your character. 

By being committed to becoming a better version of yourself.

By asking the Holy Spirit to help you.

By asking for help from your support team

By acknowledging you strength and weaknesses and forging a way to survive the bad times that amplify your weaknesses. 

By being in charge of your life 

By controlling your spirit.

Take control. 

You can.

My name is Precious, I was Bipolar and I live a full life.

The Mentality of Mental Health// Mental Health Month 2019

Most people hardly view difficult times in terms of the impact it makes on them mentally. For such people, mental health conversations are over rated and mental health survivors may just be exaggerating or seeking attention.
I beg to differ.

Mental health is important. As long as you have a brain and a the nervous system,  you have mental health. Mental health is not a taboo word and should  not be treated as such.

If you are facing a difficult phase of life please don't be afraid to seek professional help. Speak to a trained counsellor or to a trusted confident. Speak to God. Tell God how you feel and ask for His help.

If you do not feel like talking about it, it's okay. When you are in  the mood to speak up please do. Life is meaningful when you have a peaceful mind. Speaking up can help you gain a better perspective about your situation, and that in the long run can rekindles hope where hope is lost.

Cheer up!
Please do not give up!

Responsibility Will Enlarge You!

Hello friends, I guess it isn’t too late to say Happy New Year? Considering that this is my first post in 2019.
As I write this, it is 4: 09 am, February 16th, the day of the Presidential Election in Nigeria, my birth land and current place of residence. In the midst of all the activities leading to the elections, I have had to carry out several tasks with little or no physical support. These task borders on being a wife, mother, sister, daughter of God, an entrepreneur, and home maker. My reality is that these task aren’t title based, they are roles I need to deliver on.
The good thing is that I am a better version of myself every time I get them done properly without dropping the balls. However the real challenge is in having all the balls in the air and having your eyes on them to ensure that no ball falls. The first thing I must admit is the fact that focus is important in a world of several responsibilities. Regardless of how many things calling out for my attention, I have learned to make four aspects of my life a priority:
My relationship with God
My Mental Health
My relationship with my spouse
My family
Focusing on these four gives me the stability
I need to be effective in the other departments of my life. I woke up this morning with the thoughts of how my days are so busy and how I hardly find the time to do things like writing and spending more time at my business. As I thought about that, my relationship with myself stared at me with accusing eyes saying, ‘so, you put in so much effort to ensure everyone around you are fine yet little effort to consider the things that makes me happy. Why?’ These efforts may be little but are really significant. It may be as little as having ‘ me time’. LOL.  How would a ‘me time’ be realistic when I haven’t delivered on my deliverables? The answer that came to me is in three bullets point:
1 I must come to terms with my current situation. What are my current realities? What can I do to navigate through successfully? (I tell you, finding time to write about this is a therapy! *exhales*)
2 I must seek for help. None of us should be ashamed to seek for help. Help is available if we ask from the right source. I think that self-preservation isn’t doing us much good. This self –preservation is often borne out of fear. One of my lessons from February 2019 so far is that, far has torment and one way to avoid its torment is to work in love. Love doesn’t self-preserve. Seek for help when you need it you can’t do everything by yourself. Even though getting a long term domestic help staff isn’t an option for me, I can still access help by seeking partnerships and delegating. These two may require some degree of vulnerability from me but the rewards are huge.
3 I must write often. Witting is how I exhale, ventilate and hibernate my soul. When I write, I clear my mind. Writing for me is opening up to get help. Every time I share my thoughts I am giving the world an opportunity to share its perspective with me, and this open ups my thinking faculty and enlarges my mind with creative ways to think about achieving my task.
So here’s my conclusion. Taking responsibility is how we grow. To live beyond the limitations of a mental health diagnosis, you must be responsible for the things you have been given. If you are responsible for little, big will come. Another take away is that, your mental health should not be neglected. Rest when you need to rest. To rest effectively you must be willing to ask for help by delegating and seeking profitable partnerships for your tasks. To effectively ask for help, sometimes, you will have to open up about your challenges and that can make you feel vulnerable.

Thanks for stopping by my blog. I celebrate you! May 2019 be a positive year for you.
My name is Precious, I was Bipolar and I live a full life.  

Scripture:
Herein is our love made perfect, that we may have boldness in the day of judgment: because as he is, so are we in the world. There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear: because fear hath torment. He that feareth is not made perfect in love.
1 John 4: 17-18. King James Version (KJV)
Prayer: Lord I thank you for entrusting me with responsibilities. I am grateful. I ask that you will give me the strength and wisdom required to carry out every task that you have entrusted to me. In Jesus name.


Positive Confessions are Powerful!!!

You have 500 MB left on your subscription! I looked at the message and found it difficult to believe. This was a 5. 5 MB subscription done on October 8th, and today is 24th. In my mind, ‘I have been careful with live streaming and turned off my data when it is not in use, so, how come?

Before I could figure it out, in less than 15 minutes, another message, ‘You have 100 MB left…’ At this point, I said to myself, ‘ let me quickly turn off my data, so I can send some urgent emails! Before I could tap on the data icon, I read, ‘You have 0 data left.. .click to start browsing at …kobo/ flexi…’ Hummmmm! What do I do now? As a Content/ digital Marketer, who deplores Social Media platforms as a means to an end, data life is real life for me, because without data, I can’t get much work done. I felt disappointed because buying another internet bundle was not part of my financial plans at the moment.

In the midst of it all, I reminded myself, ‘ I refuse to be offended’. I choose to make the best of my situation. More so, I declared loudly to myself, ‘this is the day that the Lord has made, I will rejoice and be glad in it. I choose to rejoice. It is a function of my will. I will put my will where my happiness and ‘rejoicing’ is guaranteed! (All these are myself talk ooo. If you like, you can call it positive self-talk! LOL)

Speaking out my positive confessions helped me to see beyond the limitations in my situation. Next thing I did was open a folder of audio recordings that I needed to transcribe to produce authentic tweets to be scheduled. Next, I remembered the PDF books on my laptop that I needed to read to create content. Yes, I smiled and felt better! Today is not a day to gloom over poor or no internet.  Today is my DAY! And there are a lot of work to be done with or without the internet…and that was how I lived beyond my limitation and got back to work.

What is your peculiar situation today?
What is posing as a limitation?
Look at your situation again. This time, with fresh perspective, you would find creative ways to overcome it. Remember, the Day is a gift from God to you and the ‘Will’ is yours, please use both wisely.

My name is Precious, I was Bipolar and I live a Full life.

Scriptural Reference: Psalm 118:24 New King James Version (NKJV)
“ This is the day the Lord has made;
We will rejoice and be glad in it.”
Prayer: Lord, I thank you for the gift of today. Help me to rejoice and be glad in it regardless of any limiting situation I may encounter.



About the photo: I took this when it seemed as though the absence of data was the end of work! Nay! It isn’t. Much can be done.
One lesson about selfies? #Selfies are stress relievers if done in the middle of a limiting situation. LOL


WHEN YOU ARE IN LOVE WITH LOVE, THEN SUDDENLY FINDS OUT THAT YOU ARE ON YOUR OWN! OYO! LOL!

As humans, we are intricately wired for relationships. We strive better when we are loved, understood and appreciated. In most cases, we see this in the relationship of a child and the parents/ caregivers. The child looks up to people in their space for emotional, physical and all round development.
Even as grownups, we still need friends and family. We crave to be loved, accepted and understood. We want support from the people we are comfortable with and we want to live life knowing that we are not alone.
However, the sad realization is that, people won’t always, ‘get you’. They won’t always understand your motives and so you may not always get the support you ‘think’ you ‘deserve’ from them. As I write this, it’s Friday morning and I am reflecting on my week. I had work opportunities to add tangible value to lives but also felt a deep hurt and a sense of loss from realizing that my support team is waning. This waning – gradual but firm withdrawal of help from people who were ones cheer leaders – is heart breaking. (Sad)
The sad part is, without the right support, the capacity to accomplish a dream suffers. Emotions can go hay wire, if not put in right perspective and your body language could send negative vibes that worsens the situation.
 SO, what can you do when your support dwindles?
Should you respond or react?
How should you relate without the support?
These are a few thoughts on my mind this morning.
 As a person who has experienced bipolar disorder and with a constant reminder from my underlying words, “my name is precious, I was bipolar and I live a full life’, I have experienced the goodness available in being surrounded with people who would go the extra mile to make you feel loved and appreciated. I am also wise enough to identify that people don’t withdraw their support just because they want to; they withdraw because they want emotional stability. They want their own ‘peace of mind’ intact. Sometimes, they withdraw because it’s time to move on. Their job in your life is done.
Whatever the reasons may be, when the support from friends and family dwindles, a few things to consider are:
1)     Examine Yourself.
How have you been lately? Have you taken their generosity for granted? Is your altitude right?
When you are faced with intense pressure, what is expressed is the real you. When you are squeezed like an orange, what comes out of you?
2)     Manage your expectations.
We need to recognize that everyone has the freedom to live the way they want to live. We can’t keep insisting that a person lives or responds in a particular way just because we believe it is the right way. No. God created us as free moral agents. With this freedom come responsibilities and consequences. The responsibility is on us to manage our expectations from people. Once, a wise old man said to me, “people do not intend to disappoint, it is the circumstances around them that disappoint them”. The best of us with the best intentions still disappoint ourselves! Manage your expectations. Live and let others live.
3)     Remember the good works.
Like the woman who goes through contraction and labours to give birth, then forgets all the pain and discomfort immediately the child is born, sometimes we forget the good works and sacrifices of our support team. Please keep those memories alive and appreciate your support team. Celebrate them with any opportunity you find. Let them know that you appreciate the role they played in your recovery journey or in your life in that difficult phase. Let them know that you love them regardless.
4)     Don’t be tempted to stay emotionally attached.
Emotional attachment is what happens when we spend a lot of time with people we are in sync with. Now when these people decide to move on with their lives, we must learn to let them go without feeling bad. People are in our lives for different reasons and for different seasons. A few are in our lives for the long haul. We must understand this and let them go with love and fight the attachment. It is a painful process for many. With time, it becomes easier. Give yourself time.
5)     Pray.
In the bible, we are told of how Job prayed for his friends. It seemed as though his friends didn’t understand and give him the support he craved for in a difficult phase of his life, still he found the strength to pray for them. When your support wanes, it is painful. Praying for their wellbeing and for the grace to love them regardless can help you navigate through.
6)     Look around from where you are. Look up to God.
“…The two men parted company:  Abram lived in the land of Canaan, while Lot lived among the cities of the plain and pitched his tents near Sodom….The Lord said to Abram after Lot had parted from him, “Look around from where you are, to the north and south, to the east and west.” Genesis 13: 11b, 14. (NIV)
Look up to God. God has to be to you more than the preacher say He is. You need to know God for yourself. I know that without God, without His word and without the application of His word to my life, I would never be able to live a meaningful life. The people whom God has brought into my life have played specific roles. So when its seems, as though love and support are waning, beyond the pain and withdrawal process, I find the strength to go back to God and ask Him for the grace to stay focused on Jesus as my Lord and Saviour, for the grace to serve Him and do what pleases Him.
 Now, that this is out of my mind, I feel better. Thank you for stopping by at www.idaretoblossom.org and for reading this. You are a part of my support. I appreciate you. If there are topics you want me to talk about as it relates to mental health, recovering and life beyond bipolar disorder, please send an email to idaretoblossom@gmail.com
 
Till the next post!
My name is precious. I was Bipolar and I live a full life.
 

FAITH REALITIES


As I ate the last portion of water melon, I wished for more. It was ripe, sumptuous and delicious.  But like every beginning, the end had come for this ‘water melon’ experience. I cleaned my hands, sat straight and focused my thoughts on how and when the repair of my laptop will be attained. Then, out of the blues, I heard,

“...you finished it and didn’t invite me to join you”. Laughing, I replied, Sorry, I didn’t even know you were sitting next to me.

I was so engrossed in eating my delicious water melon fruit. I love the fruit. He was an elderly man, properly in his early fifties. He was curious to know why I loved the fruit so much. I went on to explain to him how I usually would eat the seeds and also the green skin of the water melon. It is my belief that the seed contains ‘Zinc’ and the green skin contains ‘chloride’. Please don’t ask me who told me that, I just said, it is my belief! LOL. Joke apart; when I chew the seeds of water melon, it tastes like crunchy roosted groundnut peas. The green skin of the water melon fruit can be snacked on when diced into portable shapes. It’s crunchy, taste like cucumber and like apple. These are descriptions from a regular water melon seed and green back eater!

My dear elderly man was pleasantly surprise, he said, “I always thought that the seeds will be edible but I needed someone else to affirm my thoughts. Are the seeds of cumber also edible?” He asked.  Yes. They are. I always eat them. I replied laughing hard.

He smiled nicely, and then frowned briefly, paused and looked really serious. “You seem to know much about fruits, let me ask you something…” then my phone rang. It was my PreciousRuby. I motioned to him that I needed to speak to my husband. When I was through with my call, I turn to see if he was gone. He was still there. Sir, you were about to ask me a question. I asked him, continuing the conversation. “Yes, are there fruits that can help manage diabetes?” He enquired.

He went on to explain how he first discovered that he had diabetes, how sad he felt to take daily medication for it and how it was changing his lifestyle. I listened intently, asking the Lord to give me the right words of encouragement for him.

I tried to make him see that eating fresh fruits can help improve his health but he still needed to take his prescribed medication while praying that God perfects all that concerns his health. I encouraged him to study his health and understand how diabetes was affecting him, to understand how his body was responding to the medication and above all, he needed to come to terms with the diagnosis.

Whether its diabetes, a failed relationship, an unhappy marriage, caring for a loved one who is ill, facing the loss of a loved one or job, discouraged because the funds are low yet expenses are on an increase, troubled about the sad news of insurgence, poverty, war and diseases outbreak that seem to be the headlines these days….one thing is sure, we need to face the reality of these situations through the lens of faith.

Relating this to mental health matters, many people diagnosed with bipolar disorder find it difficult to come to terms with the diagnosis. Facing the Reality of any given situation is one way to forge ahead by accepting that a change is needed. There can be no meaningful change if we do not acknowledge our present realities. Embracing your reality isn’t a license to self-pity.  It is my firm belief that when a reality check is done, the details become clearer. To start with, you are able to recognise the areas you need to work on, pray about and research on to get a fresh perspective.

Till the next post, my name is Precious, I was Bipolar and I live a full life.

 

Prayer:

Lord, thank You. I’m grateful that my identity is in You. Who I really am is in you. Everything I need is in you. Help me to see what you see about my situation. Help me to see the world through your lens of faith. Lord, I’m so grateful because I recognize that you are Bigger than any situation that threatens my peace. Lord, indeed, you are big in me. You are Bigger!
 
 

 

EROTOMANIA, HYPERSEXUALITY AND BIPOLAR DISORDER || MENTAL HEALTH AWARENESS MONTH

Is Erotomania another name for hypersexuality? And how does erotomania and hypersexuality play out in bipolar disorder?

“Erotomania is a type of delusion in which the affected person believes that another person, usually a stranger, high-status or famous person, is in love with him or her. The illness often occurs during psychosis, especially in patients with schizophrenia, delusional disorder or bipolar mania. During an erotomanic episode, the patient believes that a secret admirer is declaring his or her affection to the patient, often by special glances, signals, telepathy, or messages through the media. Usually the patient then returns the perceived affection by means of letters, phone calls, gifts, and visits to the unwitting recipient. Even though these advances are unexpected and often unwanted, any denial of affection by the object of this delusional love is dismissed by the patient as a ploy to conceal the forbidden love from the rest of the world. The term erotomania is often confused with obsessive love, obsession with unrequited love, or hypersexuality.” - educalingo.com


“Hypersexuality is extremely frequent or suddenly increased sexual urges or sexual activity. Although hypersexuality can be caused by some medical conditions or medications, in most cases the cause is unknown. Mental health problems such as bipolar disorders can give rise to hypersexuality, and alcohol and some drugs can affect social and sexual inhibitions in some people.” - educalingo.com

Here are my thoughts:
Bipolar disorder can influence a person’s libido and determine their response to sexual intimacy; this can either result in a spontaneous rush into intimacy while throwing caution to the winds or to a cautious approach to matters of the heart while ensuring that the decision to get intimate is well thought through.

Yes, a bipolar patient may be attracted to someone and for no reason feel compelled by their desires to stick with that person, but it is the increased libido that comes with manic episodes that triggers hyper sexuality in bipolar patients. It is the responsibility of the support team to identify when this happens and seek immediate intervention. If you think that a person’s sexuality is being influenced by a manic episode, it is wrong to tell them that they are promiscuous. Or use words or imageries that suggest same. If you do so, you are stigmatizing them. SO what can you do? If you are an influence in that person’s life, you can encourage them to stay out of dating and go back to the psychiatrists to review their medication.

Also, people who manage bipolar disorder can train themselves to say NO and mean it. I believe that sex outside marriage spoils a good relationship. A relationship held in tact with sex will break down no sooner or later because sex on its own is not the only requirement that makes a happy marriage. Love and mutual respect, good communication and understanding are vital for a good relationship that can lead to marriage. So, please stop giving it out for Free. You are worth more.

Choose the person who loves you enough to wait for sex till the wedding night. I made that choice 8 years ago, and every day, I’m thankful to God that I didn’t let hypersexuality ruin my relationship with my finance who is now my spouse. Somehow, I waited.  Sex is worth waiting for.

My name is Precious, I was Bipolar and I live a full life