Friday, January 26, 2018 0 Comments A+ a-

I strongly believe that to be loved and accepted, we must first love and accept ourselves. Still, there are days I wonder, 'isn’t self-love the first step to self-management?' I am learning to love myself even when I disappoint myself. I am learning to manage my expectations and in so doing, manage my emotions.  Are you?

In my last post, I promised to share about my plan forward 2018 session with Coach Bidemi Mark-Mordi. I apologise that I wouldn't be able to do that today because I haven't put my thoughts from that session on paper. Why? It's been a very activity packed week for me. Today, I'm sharing a few lessons from my life experiences in the last two weeks. 

On January 14th, 2018, I got a call from my husband informing me that our 3 years, 8 months old second born son missed his step on a slippery tiled floor, and that he slipped, hitting his head on a sharp edge of the floor tiles, resulting in a slightly deep cut on his fore head just above his left eye brow.

By the time I got off the phone, alighted from the bus to rush to the hospital where he was being treated, I was already shaking, almost hysterical! LOL! All sort of negative scenarios played like a movie in my mind. I couldn't ignore the feelings of anger, pain, regret and the fear that it was an injury on the head. If you have read about head injuries and mental illness, you will understand why I felt that fear.

As I embarked on the one hour trip to the hospital, I thought about how our son was conceived, the challenges I encountered during the pregnancy that lead to a 3-months bed rest prior to his delivery. I thought about the 'hole in the heart' scare we had when he was 14 months old due to a misdiagnosis. I thought about how what was said to be a 'hole in the heart' turned out as a case of pneumonia and of how he was treated and of how God healed him and he got back on his feet. I thought about how kind God has been to us concerning our second born son and I started to say, 'thank you Lord' from a grateful heart. I thanked God, because the situation could have been worst if he had landed on the sharp edge with the back of his head. Really, the situation could have been worst.

By being thankful to God from a grateful heart, I became calm and was in a better control of my emotions. From this experience I learned that;

1) The quality of your personality is directly proportional to the quality and quantity of God's love in you. In this situation, the quality and quantity of God's love in me reminded me of how kind God has been to me in blessing me with a family in the first place. Who would have thought that the girl that went 'mad' a few years ago would have the capacity to become a wife and mother some day? Who would have imagined it? Indeed, then, it would have been hard to conceive that thought because I looked unfit for the roles. But as CeCe Winans sang, Mercy said NO. My entire life revolves around the love of God. God's kind of love is liberating. Read 1 Corinthians 13:1-8.

2) The quality of your personality will be tested when life happens. Recently, I came across a bill board advert of a popular insurance company that said, 'when life happens, happen to life...' Happen to life? I asked myself. And I realised that, it's a yes! We can happen to life. We happen to life when we make up our minds to keep going regardless of the setbacks. We happen to life when we choose to walk in love, not hate. We happen to life when we are resilient, strong, and strategic in the face of difficulties. And Yes, for the mentally ill person, happening to life may entail taking prescribed medication, eating healthy meals, resting, talking to a clinical psychologist, keeping an appointment with the psychiatrist,  maintaining a positive perspective to life and making the choice to be happy.

A sponge is only as useful as the detergent you apply on it. The highest quality of the sponge is the ability to absorb, retain and dispense. In the same way, we are as strong as the quality of our individual inspirations. We are as strong as the quality of content we have at the core of our being.

What are your qualities? What makes you unique? What's the quality of your heart? When you are faced with a mind blowing situation, what's your first response? How do you define your response as the situation unfolds?

My son's response to his situation amazes me. He didn't stop playing hard and joking.

One morning as I finished giving him his medication, I said to him lovingly, 'Pele, sorry for this pain'. 'Sorry, for what?’ he exclaimed excitedly in one breath, easily transferring his excitement to me! I realised quickly that I am the one who should say sorry to myself for putting myself through the emotional torture of overthinking the situation.

Sometimes, with overthinking, comes pain and regret. This is why making the decision to love yourself regardless is important. So love yourself, and beyond loving yourself, commit to living out the quality and quantity of God’s love.
My name is Precious, I was Bipolar and I live a full life.  

Dear Lord, thank you for everything that you are to me. Thank you for the gift of life and for all the things you have done for me. Today, I ask that You would fill me with your grace to see the way you see. Give me the grace to stay in your love. Give me the grace to grow in the quality and quantity of your love. Help me to live beyond my emotions. 

Scripture: 1 John 4:18
"Such love has no fear, because perfect love expels all fear. If we are afraid, it is for fear of punishment, and this shows that we have not fully experienced his perfect love." - New Living Translation


Saturday, January 13, 2018 0 Comments A+ a-

How are you? As I write this, it’s the tenth day of January 2018 and it feels like mid-year for me. I’m finally getting some ‘me time’- my children resumed school on Monday, January 8th - and so I have more time to think about I Dare To Blossom (the blog), BLOOM MEDIA, think about the 2018 predominant thoughts on my mind and put my thoughts in writing. Officially, this is my Happy New Year post to you. I hope you had a memorable holiday? By memorable, I mean, a positively, inspiring and memorable holiday.

One thing about being a person who has been diagnosed with bipolar disorder is that, sometimes, words good or bad can have an effect on your emotions and influence how you feel, and ultimately the decisions you make. This can be a disability if a person is often triggered by words into a state of depression resulting in a lack of motivation to do anything. On the other hand, this can be an advantage if that person is surrounded by positive minded people and resources. The positivity becomes contagious and rubs off!

What has this got to do with my Happy New Year Post? Right?

Everything. I ended 2017 in a very high mood. With lots of laughter amidst family, friends, loved ones, good food, and lots of rest from work (if you ask me, too much rest from work!)

Then, January 1st came and went and I started to feel a pressure to start running. The only problem was that;
1) this pressure came from the thoughts I formed as I read some of the good motivational and inspirational posts about how to set goals and achieve goals,  change and acquire new lifestyle habits…and much more to have a purposeful 2018.
2) I had no template to run with. This one really got me upset and moody! I mean, most purposeful people I know already had 2018 mapped out by December, they began in October to plan for the new year.  But wait a second, was I living the life of most people? Isn’t my name Precious Avwunuma Emodmaori and not 'Most Purposeful People'? So why the comparison and undue pressure? What was meant to be a challenge and an inspiration became a pressure? Why? Wrong mindsets and perspectives!

Why do we put ourselves under pressure by putting unrealistic expectations on ourselves as a result of what we see or think other people are doing?

In 2018, please make up your mind to run your own Race. Ensure that your sense of purpose and passion for the things you love is not determined by someone else. Take charge of your life.
Words will always be spoken, written, and circulated. They are the way human beings communicate. So please make up your mind to see and choose positivity from everything you read and hear. Don’t accept an inferiority mindset because you are not Inferior. You are intelligent, beautiful/handsome, creative, energetic and hardworking. You are More. There's more to you than meets the eyes! OOOpps! Yea!

If you life with Bipolar, you would understand why I choose these adjectives.

A few things to remember as you navigate 2018.
1.       Get an understanding of what God wants you to do in 2018. It may just be in that dominant thought you have had for some time now. That thought that has ‘good’, ‘excellence’ loaded in it,  that has the capacity to make our world a better place to live in.

2.       I stopped doing New Year resolutions a long time ago because I found out that they don’t work for me. A few weeks into the year I find out that the passion with which I wrote the 'new year resolutions' are gone and I’m struck with a bad feeling of guilt. So, please go at your pace. You can write down a few things you would like to do better and attach a time frame and a plan to each item. Please don’t fill your list with things that don’t really matter to you. Be intentional.

3.       Get a Word for your year. I like this. It reminds me of my focus and of what God has said to you at the beginning of the year. If you are a believer, you would agree that God speaks. He speaks in seemingly little things that make a big statement. To hear from God, you have to have a conversation. Just like talking to your friend and expecting a response. It's something like that.

4.       Make up your mind to let HOPE fill your heart. The absence of hope is the presence of fear. And fear is good sometimes, (e.g, the fear of danger can keep us out of harm’s way) but most times we fear in a wrong way and became anxious, harming our mental health in the process. This year, please give hope a chance. Let Hope fill your heart.

5.       Avoid Regret. Recognise that each day comes with its own burst of joy, laughter, sadness, worries, opportunities, rewards, lessons…ensure that you take what you need from each day. Leave the regrets, pain, worries,  negativity,… behind. You need to be mindful of this.

Dear Bipolar Warrior, ask God for the grace to arise and rise above the limitations that held you last year. Make up your mind to do the things that are unique to you and be excellent at them. Exercise your goodwill, and put your energy into purposeful use. Together, we can Make 2018 memories precious, one intentional step at a time.

Till the next post where I will share about my 2018 plan forward session with my coach, Bidemi Mark-Mordi and how we can be intentional in little things to see profitable results...

My Name is Precious, I was Bipolar, and I will a Full life.