You have the liberality to choose!

Tuesday, September 22, 2015 0 Comments A+ a-

Honestly, I thought I was done with anger. You know that feeling that makes you yell, criticize, defend and emphasize your right. Most times, the motives behind our anger are positive but if anger is the only passion we deplore in communicating our motives, then it could be self-destructive.

Deal with your anger before it deals with you
Twice this week I have caught myself angry. I agree with you that anger should be expressed and that it can be unhealthy if not expressed, but if you are quick to anger, then you have to deliberately bring that emotion under control. I found out that the things that have gotten me angry within the week; like being spoken to rudely by a teacher in my son’s school, while trying to give a suggestion, may be justifiable, still, it is not an excuse or a license to open the door of my mind to anger.

In her book, Living Beyond Your Feelings, Joyce Meyer, affirms that,

“Anger that is expressed inappropriately is a problem, but so is repressed anger. Anger that is stuffed inside and not dealt with properly will eventually come out one way or another. It may show up in depression, anxiety, rage, or any of the variety of other negative emotions – but it will come out.”

So as I laid on my bed and said my ‘now the day is over’ prayers, I asked God for forgiveness and the grace to always put my emotions under control. I asked myself a question that required a sincere answer from me.
“Why was I so upset with this young lady in question?” “What can I do to avoid the feeling of anger towards her?”

By my estimation and the estimate of those who work closely with me, I know that I am not a trouble maker, I am a peace maker. I know that I am not one whose voice is often heard high in an argument or in a quarrel. My anger was as a result of what Joyce described as a ‘repressed anger’. I had experienced subtle doses of rudeness from the lady in question which I did not address. This tells me that, to prevent another expression of ‘repressed anger’, I must:
  1. Address the cause of my angry emotion: I am convinced that anger is the default reply to a situation we do not understand. Personally, I find out that when my values system is about to be compromised by the behavior or response of another, I ‘react’ with anger, which could be yelling, withdrawal, or outright rejection. I am learning that reaction should not be my response. I am learning to address the cause of the anger and not the personality of the person. I am learning to separate issues from personality because if I can identify what makes me angry, then I am closer to managing my emotions properly and living a conflict-free life.
  2. Give the benefit of doubt: Sometimes, things do not always seem as they appear. I am learning to be a bit more patient with myself and the people in my space. For some reasons, according to their background, upbringing, values systems, life experiences, level of exposure, etc. people will act, respond and react. I may not be able to control how people act, respond and react to my values but I have the choice to control how I feel towards them. I choose to walk in Love and not strife, I choose to walk in forgiveness and to even practice advanced forgiveness, I choose to not keep a record of wrong… It’s all in my choices! I have the liberality to choose.
  3. Talk to God about how you feel: I love the man called David in the Bible. Apart from being a Prestigious King in Israel, He was described as, ‘a man after God’s heart’. When you read through the book of Psalms, you will realize that David had an ongoing conversation with his creator. He talked about everything! His fears (Psalm 23), His anger (I recall reading Psalm 73, and was amazed about how he expressed his anger for the wicked!) His joy, His depression (Psalm 42, 63), His mistakes (Psalm 51) to say a few! Joyce Meyer puts it like this,” The right way to express anger is to talk to God. Tell Him all about the way you feel and ask Him to help you manage the feelings properly.”
  4. Deal with your anger. Deal with your anger before it deals with you. For persons managing bipolar, consistent, uncontrolled anger could be an indication of a relapse. Do not allow anger impede the progress of your mental health. Go back to your doctors, so that they can review your medication where necessary and give you professional advice to manage your mental health. Recognize that anger is a healthy emotion when expressed in the right way. Recognize that if the outcome of your anger is destructive then you need to make deliberate efforts to tame those angry emotions! Well, cheer up, it’s a process and we will progress, if we commit to the process.

My name is Precious, I was Bipolar and I live a full life.

Heavenly Father, I give you controlling interest in my life. Do not leave me to my flaws; help me to rise above my standards, to meet your standards, help me to be discerning, help me to put my emotions under check, in Jesus name, Amen.

Living Beyond Your Feelings: Controlling Emotions, So they Don’t Control you – Joyce Meyer
The Holy Bible


After The Storm Comes The Calm

Thursday, September 17, 2015 0 Comments A+ a-

I can identify with how Jesus’ disciples felt when they found themselves in the midst of the sea on a boat with Jesus. There was a sudden great tempest on the sea that rocked the boat with its waves. 

These past weeks has felt as if I was in that boat with Jesus! Like the disciples, I have had to ‘wake’ Him by praying, ‘Lord, save me! I cannot help myself!’ The reply I got was not different from what was said to the disciples, ‘why are you fearful, O you of little faith?’ Fearful? Wait a minute, I thought I had so much faith! After all, I mouth it loud all the time! The reality is found in James’ letter: ”Faith without works is vain”.

My question today is how are you managing your fearful, hopeless and doubtful moments? Or, how are you managing your joyful, restful and peaceful moments? It could be either way. 
Usually, after the storm comes the calm. Wise people know that, they are to plan ahead and pray ahead even in the absence of storms because in a stormy situation you may not be audible enough to hear yourself, how much more to be heard when you call out for help. What am I saying in essence? 
When you have made a commitment to trust God with your life, have enough ‘action-packed faith’ to know that God will not mismanage your life.
Living above the limitations of bipolar goes beyond taking your prescribed medications to making the right commitment to the right person. I have seen people who make this kind of commitment to a mere man like themselves and they were disappointed. Today, I want to stir up a desire in you to know more about the man called Jesus. Do you know him? A study of the gospel according to John is a good place to begin!

Peradventure, you know Jesus. You have even made a commitment to him in the past, and then somehow, you found out that you are no longer in sync with him. You can still trace your steps to Him and let Him set you on the path of life he has designed for you.
Regardless of the form of depression you may be faced with, know that a life of constant communication with God can help you stay out of depression. 
Feed your mind on positive content. If you are not sure, stick to the stories in the Bible, reputable authors and didactic sources of entertainment.

My name is Precious, I was Bipolar and I live a Full life

Lord Jesus, I ask for the grace to know you more. Come into my heart today. Help me to live a full life, an abundant life.  In the midst of the struggles and chaos in the world today, give me your Peace.

Mark 4: 35-41
James 2:20-24 The Message (MSG) -