What If Bobbi Kristina Brown had Surrogate Parents?

Wednesday, August 12, 2015 2 Comments A+ a-

Recently, the world woke up to the sad news of Bobbi Kristina Brown's death.
Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia attests that she was an American reality television and media personality, singer, and actress. And as we all know, she was the daughter of Singer Bobby Brown and Whitney Houston. From wikipedia.org, I gathered that Bobbi Kristina Brown was 14 when her parents divorced and Houston gained custody of her.
Sadly, Whitney Houston passed on in February 2012.

You can read the full story on https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bobbi_Kristina_Brown

Why am I stating these obvious facts? Beyond the sadness of Bobbi Kristina Brown's
death and the circumstances surrounding her death, I found myself reflecting on
possible lessons I could learn from her story.

Here are some of my thoughts on what I learnt. I believe in the concept of Surrogate parenting. No, I do not mean hiring someone to have your baby delivered or all the other thoughts associated with Surrogate parenting as known in the world today. I first heard about this concept on Bishop TD Jakes' Show, 'Mind, Body & Soul' on Bet some time last year or the year before, I can't recall clearly. One of my learning that day was that, in the absence of a father or mother figure, children/ teenagers should not be left to themselves. Someone in that community should be able to step in and fill the gap. Proverbs 29: 15 puts it like this,
The rod and reproof give wisdom: but a child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame. 

 I remembered saying to myself while watching the show, 'this concept is common in Africa, it’s just that we don't call the authority figure, 'surrogate mother or surrogate father'. In most case, we call them 'aunty' or 'uncle' without a boldness to explain how we are related to them.

While this may be a controversial topic to some people, I still feel strongly, that the gains of Surrogate parenting in this context far out weights its loss. Each of us have values and principles that we build our lives on. In most cases, we were not privileged to learn all of them from our biological parents.

So what happens, when the individual you are extending this initiative to misunderstands or rejects your kindness? I am aware that, this can happen. This is a very delicate topic. My advise is, ensure you get express approval from God before you embark on any act of kindness. Especially, one of this nature - To be a surrogate mother or father to an individual.


Here are my thoughts on #BeTheSurrogate, which I shared through my twitter handle (https://twitter.com/Idaretoblossom/) on Monday, 10th, 2015.

  1. In #Africa, it is said that, it takes an entire community to raise a #child. #BeTheSurrogate
  2. Bobbi Kristina Brown’s death inspires me to think that she was left to herself. Sadly, she had no surrogate #parents! #BeTheSurrogate 
  3. We live in a time when a lot of unspeakable things are happening to #children and the younger generation. Will you #BeTheSurrogate? 
  4. #BeTheSurrogate to that straying teenager. If Bobbi Kristina Brown had a surrogate mother, maybe she would still be around. 
  5. Find a way to connect to the people in your space. Do you even sense the #pain in their hearts? #BeTheSurrogate?
  6. Do we even understand that what we do for humanity speaks volumes for posterity?#BeTheSurrogate
  7. In what ways are you impacting your immediate community? #BeTheSurrogate
  8. Why do we feel disappointed and pained when we hear stories like Bobbi Kristina Brown’s?
  9. God's #love connects all of humanity. #BeTheSurrogate
  10. Take little steps each day to communicate God’s Kind of #love to the world around you. #BeTheSurrogate
  11. God’s Kind of Love is found in 1 Corinthians 13. The best gift you can offer to humanity is God’s Love. #BeTheSurrogate
  12. Living by the principles of God’s #love is a more excellent way to live. 1 Cor. 11: #BeTheSurrogate
  13. Beyond speaking elegantly and carrying the right charisma, ensure that God’s #love in your heart is your motivation. #BeTheSurrogate
  14. It is possible to be highly gifted and talented in hospitality and yet NOT have Love! #BeTheSurrogate
  15. Some persons express care to others, not because of love but because of what they stand to lose or gain. #BeTheSurrogate
  16. Even if you gave your best and inconvenience yourself in the process, without Love, this may mean little in God’s sight. #BeTheSurrogate
  17. A Surrogate parent must be a channel of God’s kind of Love to humanity. He must show the world what God’s love is about. #BeTheSurrogate
  18. I believe that a surrogate is one who is willing to step in to create a positive impact where there is a gap. Will you #BeTheSurrogate?
  19. Will you provide parental care to that straying child even though you are not related by blood or have any legal ties? #BeTheSurrogate
  20. A Surrogate #parent is an authority figure in your life. Someone you respect and are accountable to. #BeTheSurrogate
  21. Even with biological parents, you still need surrogate #parents who will be there for you when your parents are not . #BeTheSurrogate
  22. Growing up, I benefited immensely from surrogate #mothers and #fathers. I still do. #BeTheSurrogate
  23. As a teenager, the #value I lacked in my background, I gained by submitting to the authority figures in my life. #BeTheSurrogate
  24. The surrogate parent must be disciplined, have the right values, committed and passionate about his or her constituency  #BeTheSurrogate
  25. I pray that you will be 'engraced' to #BeTheSurrogate and that you will tread with godly #wisdom and caution. God bless

My Name Is Precious, I was Bipolar and I live a Full Life


Reference:

The rod and reproof give wisdom: but a child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame. Proverbs 29:15 (King James Version)

I will love to read your thoughts on this. You can send your comments to
idaretoblossom@gmail.com or message me @Idaretoblossom


2 comments

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Anonymous
AUTHOR
12 August 2015 at 22:42 delete

I like this "new" definition of surrogacy! There's really a need for surrogate parents in many situations nowadays. Unfortunately, the tendency to keep to oneself and keep eyes shut at the errors of others has spread a lot. Will we still be capable of leaving the vicious circle of the modern nonchalance, to #BeTheSurrogate ?

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Precious Ben
AUTHOR
25 August 2015 at 08:18 delete

Thank you dear Anonymous for sharing your thoughts on this.
The 'tendency to keep to oneself and keep eyes shut at the errors of others' will always be here. Honestly, I understand what you mean, in some cases, it may not turn out as expected. But I believe that if you are 'angry' or sad about the state of a child around you, then perhaps you need to do something about how you feel by taking responsibility in some way. This may just be little steps that will help shape the right values in that child.

Thanks again for sharing your thoughts here. Have a great day.

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Due to more comments it may take more time to respond to your comment since i 'll like to read all. Thanks