What If Bobbi Kristina Brown had Surrogate Parents?

Wednesday, August 12, 2015 2 Comments A+ a-

Recently, the world woke up to the sad news of Bobbi Kristina Brown's death.
Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia attests that she was an American reality television and media personality, singer, and actress. And as we all know, she was the daughter of Singer Bobby Brown and Whitney Houston. From wikipedia.org, I gathered that Bobbi Kristina Brown was 14 when her parents divorced and Houston gained custody of her.
Sadly, Whitney Houston passed on in February 2012.

You can read the full story on https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bobbi_Kristina_Brown

Why am I stating these obvious facts? Beyond the sadness of Bobbi Kristina Brown's
death and the circumstances surrounding her death, I found myself reflecting on
possible lessons I could learn from her story.

Here are some of my thoughts on what I learnt. I believe in the concept of Surrogate parenting. No, I do not mean hiring someone to have your baby delivered or all the other thoughts associated with Surrogate parenting as known in the world today. I first heard about this concept on Bishop TD Jakes' Show, 'Mind, Body & Soul' on Bet some time last year or the year before, I can't recall clearly. One of my learning that day was that, in the absence of a father or mother figure, children/ teenagers should not be left to themselves. Someone in that community should be able to step in and fill the gap. Proverbs 29: 15 puts it like this,
The rod and reproof give wisdom: but a child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame. 

 I remembered saying to myself while watching the show, 'this concept is common in Africa, it’s just that we don't call the authority figure, 'surrogate mother or surrogate father'. In most case, we call them 'aunty' or 'uncle' without a boldness to explain how we are related to them.

While this may be a controversial topic to some people, I still feel strongly, that the gains of Surrogate parenting in this context far out weights its loss. Each of us have values and principles that we build our lives on. In most cases, we were not privileged to learn all of them from our biological parents.

So what happens, when the individual you are extending this initiative to misunderstands or rejects your kindness? I am aware that, this can happen. This is a very delicate topic. My advise is, ensure you get express approval from God before you embark on any act of kindness. Especially, one of this nature - To be a surrogate mother or father to an individual.


Here are my thoughts on #BeTheSurrogate, which I shared through my twitter handle (https://twitter.com/Idaretoblossom/) on Monday, 10th, 2015.

  1. In #Africa, it is said that, it takes an entire community to raise a #child. #BeTheSurrogate
  2. Bobbi Kristina Brown’s death inspires me to think that she was left to herself. Sadly, she had no surrogate #parents! #BeTheSurrogate 
  3. We live in a time when a lot of unspeakable things are happening to #children and the younger generation. Will you #BeTheSurrogate? 
  4. #BeTheSurrogate to that straying teenager. If Bobbi Kristina Brown had a surrogate mother, maybe she would still be around. 
  5. Find a way to connect to the people in your space. Do you even sense the #pain in their hearts? #BeTheSurrogate?
  6. Do we even understand that what we do for humanity speaks volumes for posterity?#BeTheSurrogate
  7. In what ways are you impacting your immediate community? #BeTheSurrogate
  8. Why do we feel disappointed and pained when we hear stories like Bobbi Kristina Brown’s?
  9. God's #love connects all of humanity. #BeTheSurrogate
  10. Take little steps each day to communicate God’s Kind of #love to the world around you. #BeTheSurrogate
  11. God’s Kind of Love is found in 1 Corinthians 13. The best gift you can offer to humanity is God’s Love. #BeTheSurrogate
  12. Living by the principles of God’s #love is a more excellent way to live. 1 Cor. 11: #BeTheSurrogate
  13. Beyond speaking elegantly and carrying the right charisma, ensure that God’s #love in your heart is your motivation. #BeTheSurrogate
  14. It is possible to be highly gifted and talented in hospitality and yet NOT have Love! #BeTheSurrogate
  15. Some persons express care to others, not because of love but because of what they stand to lose or gain. #BeTheSurrogate
  16. Even if you gave your best and inconvenience yourself in the process, without Love, this may mean little in God’s sight. #BeTheSurrogate
  17. A Surrogate parent must be a channel of God’s kind of Love to humanity. He must show the world what God’s love is about. #BeTheSurrogate
  18. I believe that a surrogate is one who is willing to step in to create a positive impact where there is a gap. Will you #BeTheSurrogate?
  19. Will you provide parental care to that straying child even though you are not related by blood or have any legal ties? #BeTheSurrogate
  20. A Surrogate #parent is an authority figure in your life. Someone you respect and are accountable to. #BeTheSurrogate
  21. Even with biological parents, you still need surrogate #parents who will be there for you when your parents are not . #BeTheSurrogate
  22. Growing up, I benefited immensely from surrogate #mothers and #fathers. I still do. #BeTheSurrogate
  23. As a teenager, the #value I lacked in my background, I gained by submitting to the authority figures in my life. #BeTheSurrogate
  24. The surrogate parent must be disciplined, have the right values, committed and passionate about his or her constituency  #BeTheSurrogate
  25. I pray that you will be 'engraced' to #BeTheSurrogate and that you will tread with godly #wisdom and caution. God bless

My Name Is Precious, I was Bipolar and I live a Full Life


Reference:

The rod and reproof give wisdom: but a child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame. Proverbs 29:15 (King James Version)

I will love to read your thoughts on this. You can send your comments to
idaretoblossom@gmail.com or message me @Idaretoblossom


My Redeemer Is Strong!

Saturday, August 08, 2015 0 Comments A+ a-

He will not be afraid of evil tidings;
His heart is steadfast, trusting in the Lord.
Psalms 112: 7

Welcome to the month of August! How was July? I know the months are running so fast and some of us may be wondering if all our noble plans for the year are being fulfilled. Don’t be worried, ensure you are on the right track and committed to impacting lives positively, regardless of the perceived setbacks!

Recently, I received an ‘evil tiding’ about the health status of a member of my family. I wish I could boldly say that I was not afraid or that I did not worry! My dear reader, I was afraid of this ‘evil tiding’ and I was worried about the unknown but somehow, I knew deep inside my spirit that all will be well. I trust absolutely in God’s ability, not my ability or the doctor’s ability. I am totally convinced beyond doubt that everything will work out for good at the end.

What gives me the assurance that all will be good at the end? 

Unto the upright there arises light in the darkness; He is gracious, and full of compassion, and righteous.
Psalms 112: 4
My Redeemer Is Strong!
I am confident that all will be well because my redeemer is Strong, He is gracious, and full of compassion, a Righteous God, a Faithful God- God whose faithfulness and righteousness is not dependent on our actions. I am confident that all will be well because this God, my God is God all by Himself! He doesn’t need your help or my help to be God.

Why am I declaring like this? It is because we need to remind ourselves constantly, that our God is able to deliver us

In my last post, I wrote,

That trials are not necessarily negative consequences of our wrong acts but necessary exams of life to move us to the next level.
I don’t know and I may not comprehend what it is that you are faced with today.  I know that life happens even when we are not prepared for its outcome. I know that there are days we wake up and it feels like we have everything together, I also know that there are days we wake up with the nagging thoughts of the things we don’t have or the scenes of where we failed. 

Regardless of your peculiar situation, please do not lose hope. Be encouraged, because your redeemer is Strong!

One of the reasons I started this blog is that I am aware that persons who have had episodes of bipolar in the past will still need constant doses of encouragement and support besides taking their medication, to go through life successfully. I also know that when life events are not managed wisely, the individual may be subject to a relapse. The fear of a relapse is lighter compared with the accompanying activities that come with the recovery process. So how does one ensure that life event do not degenerate into a relapse? Here are a few points.

  1. Identity the real issues
  2. Come to terms with the Situation
  3. Do not give up on yourself
  4. Do not give up on God
  5. Seek wise counsel
  6.  ‘Prayerfully’ decide
  7. Guard your heart with God’s peace. Philippians 4:7
  8. Continue with your prescribed medication
  9. Try to Sleep well
  10. Go for a walk or engage in any exercise you enjoy
  11. Don’t lose your appetite for God’s  Word
  12. Don’t lose your appetite for good food
  13. Don’t allow self Pity
  14. Be optimistic that this too will pass
  15. Try Talk Therapy: Visit a professional, silence is not golden in this case. Find a safe atmosphere to voice out the heavy thoughts.
In summary if we heed to Paul’s advice in Philippians 4 verse 6-9, it will be easier for us to live beyond those tough moments.
Don’t fret or worry. Instead of worrying, pray. Let petitions and praises shape your worries into prayers, letting God know your concerns. Before you know it, a sense of God’s wholeness, everything coming together for good, will come and settle you down. It’s wonderful what happens when Christ displaces worry at the center of your life.
Summing it all up, friends, I’d say you’ll do best by filling your minds and meditating on things true, noble, reputable, authentic, compelling, gracious—the best, not the worst; the beautiful, not the ugly; things to praise, not things to curse. Put into practice what you learned from me, what you heard and saw and realized. Do that, and God, who makes everything work together, will work you into his most excellent harmonies.”

My name is Precious, I was Bipolar and I live a Full Life

Prayer
Heavenly Father, I thank you for every season of my life, for the ups and the downs. Thank you for your grace and mercy.  I ask that an abundance of your grace be made available to me in this season so that I will emerge stronger while you receive the glory due to your name, in Jesus name, Amen.


Reference
Psalms 112- NKJV - https://www.biblegateway.com/versions/New-King-James-Version-NKJV-Bible/
Philippians 4 verse 6-9 - MSG https://www.biblegateway.com/versions/Message-MSG-Bible/

I will love to hear your thoughts on how to handle tough moments or how to maintain stability in tough times. I will love to learn from you!

Please leave a message on idaretoblossom@gmail.com