Be Sincere with Yourself! - Part A

Saturday, January 31, 2015 0 Comments A+ a-

Often times, I wonder why it has to be me in that uncomfortable situation, where I have to say, “I am sorry”, “I am sorry” … because of an unwise action I executed and the consequence that follows!

Most times, I utter the “I am sorry” with sincerity and a determination not to err again, only to find myself in that same situation and obviously saying, the required -“I am sorry”!

I do not have an issue saying, ‘I am sorry’, or tendering an apology, but I am uncomfortable with the fact that I could say “I am sorry” with no corresponding action that implies a change in habit, character and disposition which is the background of the recurring misnomer.

Last week, was a full week for me, because in my option, I got the chastening of my life on a dangerous habit I had unconsciously imbibed – indiscipline with my time. I reported at work late and I faced the consequences of my action. In Bidemi Mark-Mordi’s words, 'consequence is a natural outflow of our actions'. She went on to explain that, ‘whether our consequence will be pleasant or unpleasant depends squarely on the actions we exhibit; and our actions flow from our choices’.

Tough as my consequence seemed, I knew I was clearly in the wrong and I had to make drastic adjustment to my indiscipline in time management if I was prepared to take the responsibility I spoke about in the last post. 

The more I reflected on the situation I found myself, the more the tears flowed freely, the more my heart aced, the more I heard the enemy’s derogatory remarks, “You are not good enough”, “You are good at nothing”, “you are always late”, “ you are not a good wife and mum because you can’t balance your time properly”, …

With each sentence came fear and with fear came a lack of confidence which determined to erode my self esteem. Of course, I need help, not just any kind of help, I needed God’s word! Only God’s word can give the true perspective and comfort thereafter. As I began studying scriptures, I stumbled on Hebrew 12:5-11, Proverbs 19:18 and Deuteronomy 8:5 among other scriptures.

I love the way King James versions reads Hebrews 12:5-11. I am drawn to verse 7,


“If ye endure chastening, God dealeth with you as with sons; for what son is he whom the father chasteneth not?”

God disciplines His children just as the earthly father disciplines his child. God disciplines us because we are sons and not bastards! God is a responsible father to us. He disciplines us for our own profit that we might be partakers of his holiness. Hebrews 12: 10.

If you are recovering from bipolar or are dealing with bipolar, these feelings I have tried to describe in black and white may not be as simple as it sounds to a person managing bipolar. Samantha Gluck in an article on healthyplace.com suggests that,
 

“we deal with guilt by developing more rational  and less painful ways of thinking about the situation.” 

Bipolar disorder borders on extremes that have harmful effect on the life and lives of your loved ones. Do not focus on the guilt, take your medication, go to sleep, you can jog off the shock of the situation. Replace negative habits. Keep an appointment with your doctor if you must.  Read your bible. Pray.Pray.Pray.

My name is Precious, I was bipolar and I live a full life.

Prayer
Heavenly Father I thank you for your love, I will never be able to comprehend its scope. I am grateful Lord for the discipline you bring my way daily, I ask for your grace so that I will not be slotful in business, I will be fervent in spirit and serve you better, in Jesus Name, Amen.
 
References
Hebrews 12:5-11

Take Responsibility!

Wednesday, January 21, 2015 3 Comments A+ a-


It’s been a while on this page! Somehow, I have found myself busy with so much activities and little time for me to focus on some of the things that matter so much to me, like sharing my thoughts on this platform.  Nonetheless, I am so grateful to God for another year, I wish you a peaceful year, a year where you will record how God’s grace and mercy came through for you every time. I believe in the awesome plans God has for each of us this year and I am confident in His ability to do more than we can ever ask or think according to His power that is at work within us. Ephesians 3:20.

Since the year began, one recurring theme on my mind has been, S-t-r-e-t-c-h! Stretch! Take responsibility. As an 8 year old child, my mum would come back from work and ask me on behalf of my siblings, “have you all eaten?”  “No, ma”, I would reply, expecting her to pamper us, query the house maid, and rush into the kitchen to fetch us something to eat.  How I wished that was her response to my reply!

Rather than deal with the house maid or any other person in the house, she would deal with me! She would ask me “why did you not prepare something? Is there no foodstuff in the house? Haven’t I taught you how to cook this…. “, she would go on and on… the first time I experienced this, I was aghast! I could not believe my ears, as a child, I began to imagine that, perhaps, she wasn’t my real mother after all, if she really was, ‘why would she expect me to do all these task, when the house maid could easily have done them?’

That was one experience that taught me early in life, that as the first born daughter of my mother, I needed to stretch and fill in the gaps wherever I found myself irrespective of the people present who seem more qualified than myself. I know I was hard on myself when I was much younger, my childhood was short, because I learnt early in life to take responsibility for myself and my siblings.

Responsibility will stretch you beyond what you think you can bear, but in the end you will have a better understanding of what it means to adapt to changing life circumstances and become a better person each time.

When I got back from the hospital after been diagnosed with bipolar, I recall vividly that my father insisted vehemently that no one should put me through any form of stress. That included; no cooking, no outings, no washing of my clothes,… all he wanted me to do was to wake up, take my bath, eat, see some movies and sleep when I wanted. He couldn’t stand me raising my voice over any issue, and so often you will hear him warning my siblings to avoid any interaction that would upset me and make me raise my voice…(laughing)

I really could not cope with that kindness, because I knew deep down that accepting that meant accepting that I was a victim of my circumstance, and if I went about with that mindset I would be damned. I also realized that the world in which we live is not a sheltered place, one needed to be ‘firm’ in God, the right in values, in Heart… to live a balanced life and be successful.

What am I driving at? As the year progresses, more opportunities will come our way, and our responsibilities will increase. When this happens, do not faint! Look up to God, Look inside you, learn new skills, take new courses if you must, and ensure you deliver on your responsibilities!

No excuse should be good enough to dissuade you from taking advantage of your opportunities by accepting the responsibilities attached. I don’t know about you, but many times, I find myself excited about my opportunities, but When I think through the new responsibilities they bring, I begin to invent assorted excuses!

I am determined by the grace of God to take responsibility this year, not just in words but in action. Take responsibility for the lives around you, do your own part in ensuring that our world is a better place, impact your world positively with the original you. In so doing, you put a smile on your Heavenly Father’s face and you put a smile on the faces of many lives. What’s more? You can go to bed each night with a smile on your face in your sleep With a smile on your face as you sleep,  because of the fulfillment you will derive from taking up responsibility and delivering positively.

So as this great year continues, ask yourself some rhetorical questions, “How far are you willing to stretch?” “Are you scared of stretching? “ “What are your fears?” “What are you willing to do in God for the circumstances around this year?” “Will excuses get the better part of you this year?”

As you think through these questions, remember to; take responsibility. Responsibility will make you stretch!

My name is Precious, I was Bipolar and I live a Full Life.

Prayer

Father in Heaven, I bow before you, just as I am, I submit all I am, and all I have been through to you, use them for your glory. Give me grace to take up the responsibilities you bring my way. Father, let my corner of the world be better because you gave me grace to deliver on my responsibilities, in Jesus Name, Amen.

Scriptures: Ephesians 3:20 (Amplified Version)

“Now to Him Who, by (in consequence of) the (action of His) power that is at work within us, is able to carry out His Purpose and) do superabundantly, far over and above all that we [dare] ask or think [infinitely beyond our highest Prayers, desires, thoughts, hopes, or dreams] –“

Luke 16:10, Luke 7:10 – Amplified Version.

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I would love to your view on 'Responsibility'!